Love Is A Simple Game if You Play
By The Rules

Rules of Play

Rules of Play (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is love really a simple game?  Then why do so many of us struggle, suffer and avoid letting ourselves feel the pain of love – again?  And why are we so quick to judge others who are long suffering in love?

Love is a gift, a decision and a simple game of life.  Appreciate the gift, make the decision to love – no matter what – and learn to play by the rules.

It Is Really That Simple.


Once upon a time couples would marry with the true intention to “love, honor and cherish” their partner “til death do us part.”  But that simple vow has mutated into a more convoluted and self-serving vow.  For many people in our society, at this time, the marriage vow could be written like this:  ” I promise to love, honor and cherish you as long as you remain youthful, attractive, attentive, wealthy, healthy and continue to fill my needs.  If not, I will have to seek and find a new love with someone else who will satisfy my changing needs and desires.”

The Gift of Love

When we are young and the world is new and every day is an adventure, love appears in our life and we feel the joy and appreciate the gift.  However, if we have dated many different people for a long time or if we have been partnered for a long time, we may become jaded and just expect that others are there to satisfy our needs and desires.  Yes, we may have some pleasant moments and we may hurt deeply if we lose the affections of someone close to us.  But that expectation of “receiving from” rather than “giving to” eventually leads to diminished passion and lack of appreciation.

Recently I had the privilege of listening to the loving words of a man, Duane Cummings, who knows and appreciates the gift of love.  His wife recently encountered a health issue and he declared, to a full audience of mostly women and a few men, “Taking care of her is a privilege, not a chore.”  That is the Gift of Love.

  • Have YOU made the decision to love everyone in your life – your business associates, friends, neighbors, clients, family, and of course, your most intimate partner?
  • Do you know and appreciate the gift of love in your relationships?
  • Have you discovered how to play the game of love, following the rules, so that everyone involved has the experience of winning?

In my next article, I will share what I believe are the rules to follow if you truly want to play the game of love to win.

Contact Me.  Let’s talk about how YOU can play the game of love to win.

Get The Gift of Love at now.

Here’s to playing the game of love to win!



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Dr. Erica Goodstone is a Spiritual Relationship Healing Expert helping men and women heal their bodies and their relationships through love. Having presented her comprehensive relationship healing programs throughout the U.S. and Canada over several decades, she has helped literally 1000's of men and women to heal through learning how to love. Dr. Erica believes "Where There is Love There IS a Way". When you love, accept, listen and pay attention to your body, trust your own sense of what you truly desire, and strive to understand, appreciate and really know the other people in your life, anything and everything is possible.

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33 thoughts on “Love Is A Simple Game if You Play
By The Rules

  1. Oh how sad the new so called modern day description of total commitment has become Dr.Erica!

    In fact, you spot on accurate description sounds like a punch line from an Ellen Degeneres joke! That’s really bad!

    And since none of us can turn back the hands of time, there’s probably going to continue to be a whole lot of seeking to satisfy certain peoples ever changing needs!
    Thanks for sharing such a well written article, on an extremely evergreen and vitally important topic!
    Mark recently posted…So What Powerful Marketing Message Can You Possibly Learn From The Classic Movie Cool Hand Luke?My Profile

    • Mark,

      Those people who keep seeking something new and what they think is better will eventually be quite disappointed with life.
      Trust and caring in relationships build over time and cannot be found by turning to a new person who appears to offer something better. The same happens with building a successful business. It requires consistent activity, and sometimes plain old hard work, to achieve the success we all desire.

      Dr. Erica
      Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted…Intimacy Pact – How Have You Created Yours?My Profile

  2. Dr. Erica,
    so happy to have come to read this article today… in the last week, I have experienced something that I never did in my last 50 years of dating or marrying or just being friends with the opposite sex.

    What has developed is something that cannot be described here but I can only say.. wowowowoow what an enlightenment !!!! For me was an Enlightenment because it was in front of my eyes all the time and I never was able to see unless I happen to experience the Real Love that I always have been talking about BUT never really experienced till the last moth.

    I know you understand what I mean and I am happy about that.

    As you wrote, “Love is a gift, a decision and a simple game of life. Appreciate the gift, make the decision to love – no matter what – and learn to play by the rules.” …the “rule” the true INNER and DEEPER rules that are always there for me to be guided and always not paid attention till last month, that is what I have been missing all along..

    Thanks so much for doing what you do.. I know it is helping many people of all walks of life.

    happy New Year
    nick catricala recently posted…Five useful Year-end Tax Saving TipsMy Profile

  3. Hi Erica,

    I have to agree with Lesly, stop looking and love certainly finds you! Sadly I’m a perfectionist so I suffer greatly with anxiety because I have to be in total control of everything and it creates extreme anxiety, so then I create an impossible situation for myself.

    Enjoy the journey.

    Mandy Allen recently posted…Let Me Introduce MyselfMy Profile

    • Mandy,
      Control can work really well in business, taking care of all the necessary details. Control is also valuable when you are working online. However, in relationships and intimacy and sexuality, control issues can destroy the sense of freedom and safety and being accepted that all of us crave.


      Dr. Erica

    • Mary,

      Taking care of and nurturing someone you love is a true gift of love. I am sure your mother felt your love and it eased her mind in many ways, one was knowing that she raised such a caring and responsible daughter. Just think of her and let her sense of being taken care of fill your heart with warmth.


      Dr. Erica

  4. I start to read your post and then I stop when you said (Appreciate the gift, make the decision to love – no matter what – and learn to play by the rules.)
    It is the (no matter what) I get stock on… because to be able to do that we need that gift of love But I thing we all have it. So now if we do have it why this is so hard to Keep that flame light …..?
    Helene Martin recently posted…Make It Big With Your Affiliate Promotion Endeavors!My Profile

    • Helene,

      My response is a bit delayed. Keeping love alive is probably the most essential and the most difficult task we have in this lifetime. We get so easily distracted by the world and the grass appears greener everywhere else at times. To keep loving, no matter what, requires trust and faith and a belief in something beyond our own self.


      Dr. Erica

  5. Hi Dr Erica! You have hit on some very good points I did take that oath and did think it was until death do us part but it does take two to tango so to say.

    I did work at it for a long time but when you are trying to grow, set goals and raise a family and you have to do it all alone, well then it is time to make the decision and to do it alone.

    One cannot stay in an unhealthy relationship simply because of an oath. I did make the right decision the one that was right for myself and my family at the time.

    I have won with love the second time around.. Thanks for sharing.. Chery :))
    Chery Schmidt recently posted…A Success Mindset? It’s Your Choice! 10 More Positive AffirmationsMy Profile

  6. I try to teach my teenage children that love does not have to be complicated or full of conflict. I think it all comes down to selfLESS acts towards loved ones and not letting our egos get in the way. I love the book “The Love Dare” – a great way to shift your focus to nurturing your relationships instead of tearing them down! There is a new Love Dare book out for families/children which I have not read yet but I am sure it is just as good/helpful as the original one!
    Donna Rock recently posted…Get your Jelly Fix With This Easy Trick!My Profile

  7. My husband and I had that kind of love, although we met late in life and didn’t have much time together before his passing, we didn’t seem to have to work very hard at making it work.

    He and I both had bad relationships before and were scared to take another chance but I am so glad that we did. I miss him dearly and urge everyone to not take love and marriage so lightly.
    Monna Ellithorpe recently posted…Work At Home BluesMy Profile

  8. Dr Erica, I really do believe that so many people in relationships today don’t want to put the effort into making the relationships work. Instead they are always looking outside of the relationship when problems or conflicts occur. If you truly love your partner you have to realize that sometimes you will experience periods during the course of the relationship where things may not be great. However if you realize what a gift having love is, you will be willing to make the effort to work things out. I look forward to seeing your next article on how to play by the rules and win in love! Thanks for your insights!
    Shelley Alexander recently posted…Cold & Flu Fighting Apple Green Tea Turmeric TonicMy Profile

  9. Sadly your description of the modern view on commitment sounds all too familiar Dr. Erica. Though as someone who grew up in a home where the parents stayed together “for the sake of the kids” I’m not so sure that is much better. Like so many things in life I think mindset has a lot to do with playing the game of love the right way – the real trick is getting both partners to play the game the right way at the same time and with an equal measure of commitment. Thanks for the inspiration!
    marquita herald recently posted…How a Simple Act of Kindness Creates Everyday HeroesMy Profile

  10. Dr. Erica , been married for 18 years and took my vows still do, seriously. I have been one person who only have eyes for one woman at a time since when I dated.

    I love, live and dream of creating daily adventures that will challenge us to lean on each other and it always never happens. We are all unique and are responsible for our own choices. The end results will tell the time of whether you both have the bond once believed.

    The Game! I think of it as a lifetime journey which I accepted and hold my self responsible and accountable. We value difference within ourselves and agreed to speak our peace at all times knowing hey, we may not agree on lots of choices yet come to feel we want the same end results.

    Love this article and now Nov 5th will be 19 years and still growing to know each other.
    William Earl Amis, Jr. III recently posted…Selling is a Business, what a joke?My Profile

  11. Hi Dr Erica, your new vow wouldn’t work very well would it LOL! Although, I guess there’s no reason why a person can’t remain youthful and attractive, even as they’re growing old! We can be youthful in spirit.

    However, I believe you meant it in a different way. Most of us expect our partner to keep changing as our needs change, and that rarely happens. It’s not for us to look to someone else to fulfill our changing needs and desires, we should find that from within ourselves!
    Julieanne van Zyl recently posted…On The BusMy Profile

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