Relationship Marketing – Do It Right or Don’t Do It!

Relationship Marketing - Do It Right or Don't Do It!

Relationship Marketing – Do It Right or
Don’t Do It!

Have you heard the term “Relationship Marketing”?  If not, then listen up.  If you are familiar with this term and are not consciously and conscientiously applying the principles, you are hampering the growth of your business.  And I might add, you are probably annoying lots of people along the way.

Let me offer a brief definition.  Once you understand this, you will have the key to building your business regardless of the niche or customers you serve.  Then it is up to you whether you will apply what you know.

  • Relationship involves developing a connection, an association, an affiliation, a bond and rapport.
  • Marketing involves presentation, publicizing, advertising, promoting and selling.
  • Relationship Marketing involves building rapport, getting connected, and bonding with potential clients and customers as you present, promote and sell your product, service or business

There you have it, the simple formula for building a successful business online or offline.  Ask yourself the following questions right now

  • Have I taken the time to develop rapport, build an affiliation and create a real connection with potential clients and customers?
  • Have I asked questions, paid attention to the responses, and discovered what the other person wants, needs and desires right now and in the future?
  • Have I focused all my attention on the other person before even mentioning the product or service I am offering?

And, finally the most important two questions to ask, the ones that many, many would-be marketers fail to ask.

  • Have I inquired about what the other person has studied, learned, used, taught and valued in the past and at the present time?
  • Have I asked whether this person has any interest in pursuing the type of product or service I am offering at this time or in the future?

From the time I began this online journey I have been working very hard – taking trainings, attending online and offline events, learning from coaches, networking and creating web sites and blogs.  For a few years I was in a perpetual state of overwhelm, knowing there was so much to learn and that I did not know enough about any single area.

I took a course on creating teleseminars, another course about creating newsletters, another course about creating web sites, another course about blogging, another course about writing ebooks, another course about social media, another course about creating successful Google ads, another course about creating Kindle Books, another course about creating membership sites, another course about creating products, another course about creating videos, another course about creating bestsellers, another course about speaking, and the list goes on.

Along the way I have listened to hundreds, maybe thousands, of 1 – 2 hour “free” teleseminars and webinars with “an offer” at the end.  I have also listened to many top notch telesummits offering “free” training from some of the leading people in specific niches.

The bottom line is that I have attended many, many, many valuable programs online.  I have also implemented a large amount of what I have learned.  And I have worked with several different high level mentors.

So – when someone I hardly know invites me, and then even pressures me, to join their “not free” seminar, I often find it intrusive, annoying and downright irritating.  This person has not taken the time to find out how much I already know, how much I have studied and learned and implemented, and whether this service is something I even have the least bit of interest in learning. They are not taking the time to know me and offer value; their goal is to get immediate income from me because I seem to be a good prospect.

This is one of my pet peeves about the way people go about marketing incorrectly.

Please leave a comment below and share your experiences and pet peeves so that we can all learn how to improve our own marketing strategies.

Contact me to fine tune your relationship marketing strategy, your personal or business relationships, or both?  I can help you to sift through the muck, find the value and create real mutually beneficial relationships.

Here’s to your relationship marketing success,


Dr. Erica

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Dr. Erica Goodstone is a Spiritual Relationship Healing Expert helping men and women heal their bodies and their relationships through love. Having presented her comprehensive relationship healing programs throughout the U.S. and Canada over several decades, she has helped literally 1000's of men and women to heal through learning how to love. Dr. Erica believes "Where There is Love There IS a Way". When you love, accept, listen and pay attention to your body, trust your own sense of what you truly desire, and strive to understand, appreciate and really know the other people in your life, anything and everything is possible.

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38 thoughts on “Relationship Marketing – Do It Right or Don’t Do It!

  1. So very well said Dr.Erica!

    As I was reading your fantastic advice, I was thinking I might rename what you’re referring to as “relationship marketing” as “junk marketing!” LOL!

    Or “lack of relationship marketing!” LOL! And let me say what an incredibly impressive educational resume you’ve compiled thus far!

    You’ve certainly paid your dues in terms of seeking and getting the proper education! As I was reading you list of courses and classes you’ve attended thus far.

    Most wannabees would have jumped ship long before they could compile such an impressive list of educational resources. But that’s what it takes!

    And even though I’ve mentioned this before, after reading this particular post, it’s really crystal clear to me now, why you are by far one of the most extremely marketing savvy professionals, that I’ve ever had the pleasure of being exposed to on or offline!

    It’s because of your extensive marketing/business/entrepreneurial education! And it shows!

    Thanks for writing such a spot on post! I truly enjoyed reading/studying it!

    • Mark,

      You have made my day. Thank you for such lovely words of praise. You have reminded me that I tend to keep wanting to learn and I often focus on what I don’t know rather than on what I have already learned. The more we learn and know, the more we are aware of how much we don’t know. But the key to success is to focus on what we already know and continue to build on that.


      Dr. Erica

  2. I have to say Dr Erica, that I completely agree with your point that ‘hello and look at my product’ marketers join the peeves list.
    Like you, I have purchase, studied and implemented products, trainings and programmes which I have chosen, and usually from known sources – but not always.
    I am more attracted to a product and person by the way they present something – be it through an ad, a blog or a facebook page etc. and am not impressed at all with lazy marketers who bug us.
    I really liked the bullet point Questions you put in your post – If in doubt, they clarify the situation perfectly.
    Thank you 🙂

    • Jacs,
      Just before reading your comment I received an impersonal email to watch some videos and purchase some product that is launching soon. And yesterday I responded to a Facebook post and the person said “I want you to attend my meeting, it is the morning and I know you can come.” This is not a free meeting, it is early in the morning and I am on the computer quite late at night, and it is not free. Also, we have never had real personal contact, like phone conversations or coffee together. To me, that is intrusive and not relationship marketing.


      Dr. Erica

  3. I couldn’t agree more Dr. Erica. In fact, I just recently wrote an article about relationship marketing and social media.

    I likened relationship marketing to dating. Much like dating, consumers want to be courted by your company long before you shove a product or service down their throat. However, social media makes it way too easy to do exactly that these days.

    It’s a shame the opportunity so many business professionals are missing out on by not engaging and truly taking the time to build meaningful relationships.

    You’ve got to woo them before earning their trust. It takes time and effort, but is so worth it!

    • Rebekah,

      It is not only for marketing. It is really necessary to have the same mindset of taking the time and doing what is necessary to slowly build relationships – with a landlord or tenant, with a boss or employee, with inlaws, with parents and children, neighbors, friends, loved ones – and – potential customers and clients. When we master the art and are willing to do the work, we can create marvelous and lasting relationships to achieve anything we want in this lifetime.


      Dr. Erica

  4. I agree with what you’ve written. Relationship marketing is essential. Through the relationship, learning what the person wants and needs is so important, rather than just shoving your product or service at them without any concern for whether or not it’s actually a good fit.

    • Leanne,

      I have experienced all too often that someone I have just met views me as an “opportunity” rather than taking the time to ask me about me. I do not want to be anybody’s opportunity to make money. I want to be a person with whom they connect and share and discover how we might work together, if that is a possibility.


      Dr. Erica

  5. It seems that relationship marketing has become the buzz word of choice for many marketers – but like you and all the commenters have pointed out – it’s the same old push marketing format repackaged as “relationship marketing”. I’m a big fan of Seth Godin’s theory of give to get – and it’s what we try to do. Never push – explain, educate, demonstrate and be helpful – and work on really getting to know people and connecting with them in real ways – whether online or in person. The internet connects us to the world – but we still want to do business with people we know, like and trust.

    • Marty,

      Once we really get the power of giving, it becomes difficult not to give freely and openly trusting that the right people and circumstances will present themselves. There is not need to pressure anybody, just build the relationships and your good will follow.

      Dr. Erica

  6. Hi Dr.Erica,

    This is a very good presentation of relationship marketing. I think I understood, at least the fundamental idea. Relationship marketing means to connect and bond with clients and customers in order to promote your products or services.
    Now, I want to know a few things:

    How many clients, customers can you physically connect and create bonds and build rapport in about one year etc.? Hundreds? Thousands?

    Do you need to memorize all those clients and customers? Do you need to know them by their name, surname etc?

    My guess is that you cannot connect, bond etc with many people this way. So the next question is legitimate: Can you make a living from relationship marketing only? Maybe you need to sell high ticket items or expensive services?

    Please, take into account that this questions are not meant to annoy or offend you. I really want to understand this.

    Have a nice day

    • Silviu,

      Your questions are great. You can actually build relationships with large numbers of people by writing content and emails series, audios and videos that directly address their concerns and needs. But if you are focused on yourself, on what you have to offer, your credentials and training without knowing and addressing your potential customers’ wants and needs, then you will have difficulty enrolling even 1 or 2 people into your programs. Also, it can be so beneficial to create several strong one on one relationships and a tribe of followers, one person at a time. As you build your supporters, affiliates and followers, then you can attract larger and larger numbers of interested buyers.


      Dr. Erica

  7. Hi Erica,
    It is frustrating and disappointing when you meet someone and they have that look in their eye like you’re “luch” waiting for the right moment to poince. Building relationships is all about listening and learning about other people. I remember once someone asked me what I was doing and I told them – teaching meditation to expectant women. “Oh I know all about that…I used to do that …” while she rolled her eyes and walked away. I was oretty surprised by this – she no interest in getting to know me. There are so many people like this and it’s unfortunate… much love to you ..

    • Lesly,
      I have discovered that many people do not know the true art of networking. They think it is about collecting business cards, scouting out potential customers, and pouncing when someone appears to be a good prospect. I have had so many people eagerly invite me to an event or buy a product that I have absolutely no interest in or desire for, and they would have known that if they had asked me a few pertinent questions and gotten to know me a bit.


      Dr. Erica

  8. love your post and your readers comments just add extra value. i want to thank you for making Relationship Marketing, simple, real and a must do. @ Raena thanks for sharing this post

  9. Hello Dr Erica,
    I love this article.
    Learning to listen, asking the right questions and gather information is the basis before filtering if the prospect can become a client.
    I have learned this the hard way, trying various marketing strategies- some worked some did not work.
    The most important mindset tip is about remembering it is never about us- it is always about others their needs their perception of the world their challenges.
    Marketing without real rapport is not viable.
    Thanks for sharing Dr Erica!

    • Patricia,

      We need to let people know what services we are providing and that we are available – but it can stop there. Then all we need to do is listen and show that we care. And if it is a good fit, the person will ask more questions and choose whether our product or service is right for them.


      Dr. Erica

  10. Pearly,

    I have discovered the power of relationship marketing offline as well. In my local networking, I have presented my relationship healing work but have not pushed anyone to become my client. What I have discovered is that people have paid attention, and when the time is right, when they feel a need for relationship counseling or coaching, my name is at the top of their mind and they contact me. If I had pressured them in any way when they did not need or want my services, I would have lost them forever. What a powerful lesson for all of us. Don’t push. Just explain what you do, give to others, listen to what they are wanting and needing, and then trust and have patience.


    Dr. Erica

  11. Hi Erica,

    I agree when we do it right, people will welcome us and be open for us to share our product.

    Relationship Marketing is the best method which I love using it very much. I have made many mistakes when I first started and always feel very excited to leave people messages on FB telling them how good my product is and dropped my link there as well. Now thinking back of my past action and comparing with my current work, I realised I didn’t understand much on how to do business online. I used Relationship Marketing a lot for my offline business and didn’t even figured out a way to do it online in the past.

    However, I know how to build a sincere relationship with people on facebook. Like, comment and share their post without having any thought of wanting something back from them. When we are doing this over a long period of time, people will know us as a true friends more than just wanting to sell them something. Of course, to do our business online is more than what I have mentioned.

    Thank you very much for sharing your tips on this article 🙂


  12. Wow, do I agree with you!! Mostly the jump and bug me comes form telemarketers, but there are a few that have approached with their ‘business’ without asking anything about me!! I must say in the early days, I did it too…. That is what I was taught! Know way better now!!

    Relationship marketing is crucial!!

    • Holly,

      So glad you came to realize the power and necessity of relationship marketing. I must admit, I was also sharing my stuff with everyone without first building a real relationship but luckily I learned quickly and have changed my attitude and my approach.


      Dr. Erica

  13. You had me at the comment, Do it right or Don’t do it. That applies to so many things that it should simply apply to everything we do. What a better world it would be.


    • DocLou,

      You are so right. If people would just make their best effort to do it right (at work, with their health, with their family, in their relationships, etc.), what a great world this would be.


      Dr. Erica

  14. Dr. Erica,

    Here’s an example of how NOT to do online marketing. Be someone’s facebook friend that you met in person at Church. Never, but never click LIKE on their facebook wall pics, quotes, updates, Fan Page updates or anything. Never comment on their facebook wall or fan page. Then out of the friggin’ blue send them a Facebook message telling them that you just joined AMWAY and would they be interested in joining with you! Oh My Gosh!!! That was just soooooo ridiculous! That’s what just happened to me a few minutes ago, believe it or not! I’m not even upset or offended. I just think about how LOST that person is and how that person has NO Idea what “relationship marketing” is all about! And I don’t have time to teach her. And I wouldn’t teach her, even if I had the time, because Amway is such a ridiculously difficult company to succeed in. As far as I can tell there really is NO unique product that they are selling that you cannot get buy easier and cheaper at the local stores. I could go on and on about Amway. Please don’t get me started! But great article!

    Thanks for sharing!

    ~ Jupiter Jim

    • Jim,

      I have had numerous experiences of non-relationship marketing. Just recently someone, out of the blue, asked me to tell all my friends about their MLM product because they want to get to the next level. I responded that I have not even been sending out my own newsletters or promoting myself lately and I need to focus on that. Why would I promote someone else’s desire to get distributors if I am not personally involved in that company? Huh? Another person had been scheduled on my radio show, did not show up, did not call. I called. Finally that person returned my call late that night. And then a few days later this person asked me to promote her upcoming event. Huh!!

      Neither of these people offered first to do something for me. It was all about them as if the world revolves around them and everyone is just dying to help them. Huh?

      Relationship marketing is about creating relationships, offering value, being of service to others first, giving and giving and then allowing reciprocation if and when the other person so chooses.

  15. Great post Dr Erica! I think we all have spent a lot of time and money trying to figure out this whole online marketing thing but what it all really comes down to is building relationships. Yes asking the right questions and then to actually listen to the answers.

    My pet peeve it the same as yours. I have people pushing training on me pretty much on a daily basis.. I could teach those classes HEHE Thanks for the great post Relationship marketing is the only way that works. Chery 🙂

    • Chery,

      I feel the same way when people push their training on me “I can probably teach that course” and if I can’t reach it, I probably know a more skilled and more successful person to take that training from, if I did need it. The pros, the ones I might actually train with, do not push their stuff on me. They present what they have and let me decide for myself if it is right for me. And if I don’t enroll, they keep providing valuable information and new free webinars to attend. Sometimes I purchase nothing from them and keep taking their free stuff, and sometimes I suddenly buy something or sign up for something. Sometimes it takes years and lots of interactions. That’s how it works.


      Dr. Erica

  16. Hi Dr. Erica,

    This is an excellent post! You know I am a network marketer. During my journey it didn’t take long for me to figure out the value of developing a relationship first before I thought about “making a sale.” Honestly, most of the sales I make
    occur because the buyer knows, likes, and trusts me. People can’t trust you if you don’t give them a chance. The time spent working, helping, and serving other people is worth it! If someone doesn’t buy your offer, you still get the benefit of a new relationship! Network marketing means you have to network! Fortunately getting to know people comes naturally for me.

    One of the questions you pointed out as not asked by many marketers, “Have I inquired about what the other person has studied, learned, used, taught and valued in the past and at the present time?” That is a VERY important question. I’ve learned to find out “where they are at.” If I don’t have this information early, it’s easy to fall in the trap of underestimating someone’s skills and making assumptions which will easily damage a relationship from the beginning. Asking this question is a great way to start a relationship. It shows that you are interested in them, and not just trying to “pitch” them. I can serve them better when I know their experiences, wants, and needs.

    I can relate to your long list of courses, webinars, and teleseminars, you’ve taken, not to mention the books, eBooks, and cd’s. I don’t regret taking all those courses. I love learning and education is valuable and essential. Participating in a multitude of educational courses seems to be a typical path that many people go through before coming to the realization what matters most in marketing. The answer is relationships.

    I like the way you put the two words together, relationship and marketing becomes relationship marketing. It’s very clever. Thank you Dr. Erica!

    Raena Lynn

    • Raena,

      You certainly understand Relationship Marketing since you have already been doing just that. So many people are looking for a quick sale and many of the leaders make it seem that it will be quick and easy. The truth is that it takes time, patience and caring to build mutually supportive relationships. It also takes learning, developing the appropriate skills, consistently taking actions, and networking with the right people to build a successful business.

  17. Dr. Erica,
    every time I come to your blog I learn something… THANKS so much.

    This article resonate with me a lot because I feel that “Relation Marketing” is essential since as we all know, we are always marketing something… either ours or someone else’s.

    I have been lucky to have what you may call ‘a natural way to interact with people.. but that does not exclude me to pay attention and make certain I do not mess it up (Yes I did many times haha 🙂

    What you wrote here: “Relationship involves developing a connection, an association, an affiliation, a bond and rapport. Marketing involves presentation, publicizing, advertising, promoting and selling. Relationship Marketing involves building rapport, getting connected, and bonding with potential clients and customers as you present, promote and sell your product, service or business”

    is something that I believe everyone should be aware so everyday life (personal and business life) would become much easier to live.

    Thanks so much for sharing so much helpful and essential knowledge.

  18. What a great summary of the experience I’m sure we all share, Erica! I know that I’ve attended so many seminars, talks, and conferences, read so many ebooks and books, and learned (and forgotten!) so many tips, techniques and tricks in the past. And, of course, we’re told it’s all about the numbers: hit enough people with your sales pitch and some of them will buy!
    Thank you for reminding us that it’s not about how many people you approach, but about the relationships you build. Even though I know and believe this, I still forget about it from time to time 😉

    • Alan,

      You bring up a good point. Even when we know about the value of building relationships, it is so easy to forget and just plunge forward because we are excited about our current product or service.


      Dr. Erica

  19. My number one pet peeve is people who insist on talking to you, trying to get information in a very persistent, “in your face” kind of way, even if you keep telling them it’s not a good time to talk. It’s like they don’t hear what you’re telling them at all.

    • Cherrie,

      For me it is not only when they talk after I say it’s not a good time to talk but when they also keep promoting what they want me to buy, after I say I’m not interested.


      Dr. Erica

    • Thanks Chris. We both know how uncomfortable, and even disrespectful, it can be when someone treats you like a sales object instead of getting to know whether or not you are even interested at all.

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