“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach….”
43rd Sonnet written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning in the 19th century.
From this beautiful romantic poem we are led to believe that to love is uplifting, heartwarming and provides intimate connection that lasts forever, way beyond our current lifetime.
The truth about being human and loving in the real world
is that very few of us have experienced such all-consuming, lifelong, undying and passionate love. For those of us who find ourselves in the throes of love, we really do believe it will last forever. We believe that the passion will always be there and our hearts will continue to lead us back to love.
But love does not always prevail.
That spark of love can be easily shattered. Small, sometimes seemingly insignificant events and emotional letdowns can chip away at our attempts to love, destroy our desire to be intimate, and block and suppress our passion.
Most of us have discovered….
Love is more fragile than we had originally believed.
But that is not surprising. Watch how a babies and young children respond to mommy and daddy. They are so happy to be coddled and held by their parents. But sooner or later, the growing child discovers the real human beings that had once appeared as powerful Gods. The letdown and disappointment, hurt and confusion can be enormous. Once the innocence of believing in all powerful perfect parents and a perfect world is broken, we cannot easily get it back. From that point on we need to grow up and learn to live in the world as it is.
When we are attracted to someone new and fall in love, our innocence temporarily returns. We trust in love and we believe these wonderful feelings will last. And they can and often do.
Those who keep passion alive know a secret that others do not comprehend.
Just as a champion is looked upon with envy and admiration for “winning” and “achieving results,” those who manage to keep the spark of love alive have followed a different path from those who have not succeeded.
The path of love is usually not easy.
Those who succeed have overcome, forgiven and recommitted often.
Success in love over time involves facing your self, sharing openly with your partner, overcoming emotional ups and downs, setting clear boundaries, and giving even at those moments when you feel there is nothing left to give.
What has the path of love been like in Your life? There is a simple solution to creating lasting love. Please share about your own experience with love in the comments below.
I do believe “Where there is love there IS a way.”
Here’s to living your life in love.
Latest posts by Dr. Erica Goodstone (see all)
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