This post was inspired by Sherman Smith’s Blog How Do You Build Trust Rank?
The Value of Trust
Trust develops when we do the right thing, even if nobody else knows but our partner, our business associate, our child or our friend. If you made a date, saw the person sitting at the coffee shop table or waiting at the bar, and decided there is no attraction, what would you do? Would you quietly slip out the door and let that person sit alone, waiting…? Or would you bite the bullet, meet and greet the person, and then politely end the date quickly with a face-saving excuse? It may only take 15 minutes to ½ hour of your time to do the right thing, but you are building trust rank. You never know who this person may know and how that one act of unkindness may one day return to haunt you.
Do you sometimes agree to do something you know your partner wants but have no intention, right from the start, to do it? Or do you agree to do something your partner wants, decide at some point that you really don’t want to do this, but you do it anyway because you promised and because you know it will please the other person? When you honor your agreements with the people in your life, you are building trust rank. Even if the other person is unreliable and inconsiderate, if you remain trustworthy and authentic your relationship problems become blatantly clear. The other person either reciprocates or doesn’t which allows you to freely make a decision about what you choose for your life.
Trading Value for Value
Do you get into relationships solely for how YOU can benefit from what the other person has to offer? Of do you bask in the glow of other people’s adoration of you because of what you can give to them? If your relationships tend to be a one-way street with one person providing the value and the other person soaking it up, there is an imbalance. Eventually both parties will feel resentful. The giver will want to receive continuing appreciation and acknowledgement but as the taker gets more and more filled up and less needy, resentments will build and the loving bubble will burst. In business and in personal relationships, both people need to provide adequate and often complimentary value.
Developing Your Trustworthy Reputation
The way you treat one person is often the way you eventually treat others. We cannot judge a person’s reputation by their acts of kindness, words of praise and impressive behaviors in the early stages of a relationship. Many people put forth their best self-presentation at the beginning, at the point when they want something and believe this other person can provide it. But even if the other person comes through and gives more than expected, the recipient cannot keep up the pursuit, keep up the pretense of good will, if it is not natural and authentic. Truth reveals itself over time. Reputations are not built in a day. Just as it takes many small actions to create a successful business, it also requires many small acts of integrity, kindness, caring and skill to build a reputation that builds and lasts.
What are YOU doing to build Trust Rank in your business and personal relationships? Please share your comments below.