Listen to Me … Please

Which of YOUR 5 Senses Helps YOU Create Loving and Happy Relationships?5190xACUeqL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_51bkSBJMDeL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_

  • Speech
  • Sight
  • Touch
  • Taste
  • Hearing

Most of Us Are Born With Five Senses

Most of us are born with 5 basic senses that help us to survive and thrive in this world.  Scientists have revealed that as humans we tend to use only about 9% of our brain power and maybe even less of our potential for sensual awareness.  Animals, unable to talk, have acute awareness in their sight, sense of smell, hearing and touch.

It is a known fact that someone who loses the capacity to use one sense, will probably develop much more acute sensitivity with one or more of their other senses.  A story about the well known author, Helen Keller, who was deaf, blind and unable to speak, reveals that she could actually “feel” the vibrations of the music in Beethoven’s 5th symphony.  Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder, without the ability to see, have created beautiful music with the sensitivity of their touch and voices.

Most of us, for most of our lives, have the full capacity of all of our senses.  As infants and toddlers and growing children, we do express all of our senses in everything we do.  We are surprised and delighted by the touch and feel, sounds and sights and smells around us.  What happens to that excitement, wonder and appreciation of our full sensual world as we live through our adult years?

Why Do We Suppress Our Sensual Awareness?

The vast majority of us just tend to suppress our sensual aliveness to an alarming extent.  Just look at a baby who is engrossed in looking at your face and giggling effortlessly when you change your facial expressions.  What about when you play a simple hide and seek with your hands or when you say funny words and sounds?

Watch any animal being petted gently.  The breed rarely matters.  Dogs, cats, horses, cows, lambs, birds, even chimpanzees, will luxuriate in the touch of another live being.  Watch the animal’s eyes close and their face look peaceful and contented.  Animals, even plants, respond to a loving touch and a pleasant, caring tone of voice.  Harsh sounds disturb them and silence often bothers them.

Which Sense Do YOU Value Most?

Is speech your most precious sense?  Are you happiest when you are moving your lips, telling others what to do, how to do it, when to do it and where to go?  Or are you happiest when you are able to tell your problems, your fears, your successes and strategies to someone else?  What happens when the other person wants to do all the talking, to tell you about their problems, fears and goals?  Are you willing to be quiet for long periods of time and just listen?

Is sight your most valued sense?  Do you most enjoy looking at something beautiful – natural or man-made?  Are your relationships based on the value of beauty – natural beauty, cosmetic surgery, ultra-fitness?  What happens when you or your partner begins to lose some of that apparent outward beauty?  Are you willing to look beyond and beneath the outward appearance to the person within?

Is touch your most precious sense?  Do you love the touch of your beloved’s skin or a gentle hand on your shoulder?  Do you like your body massaged and your feet rubbed?  Or do you tend to avoid touching?  Do your prefer a certain amount of physical distance and rarely like to hold hands?  What happens when your partner loves touching and reaches out to touch you and be touched by you, with or without a sexual intention?

Is taste your most prominent sense?  Do you live for that next juicy steak or ice cream cake?  Are you already planning your next meal before your current meal has ended?  Are you very particular about which food you like and which you don’t?  Or are you basically indifferent to food and easily able to restrict your diet for any reason you choose?  What happens when your partner loves food and you don’t care about it?  Are you willing to let your partner indulge or will you tend to criticize, judge and attempt to stifle their excitement – especially if they are overweight and you think it is best for their health to abstain.

Is hearing your most important sense?  Do you long to be heard and listened to and understood by your friends and family and most intimate partner?  Many of your other senses may take precedence over your hearing if they are not satisfied. For some period of time, getting your other sensual needs met can override your deep need to be listened to and heard.

If you are hungry and your partner feeds you (cooks great meals or pays for your exotic dinners out), you may overlook your need to be heard.  If your partner touches you in a delightfully sensual way or a seductively rough way, you may be willing to overlook your longing to be heard because the touch and sexuality feels so good in the moment.  If your partner speaks in an eloquent way or tells jokes that make you laugh or has a charming style, you may be able to overlook your desire to be listened to and heard.  And if your partner is so handsome or so beautiful that you feel empowered just to be with him or her, then you may overlook your need to be heard in the relationship.

Listen to Me … Please

Desire for intimacy ultimately prevails and our sense of hearing wins the sensual challenge.  Sooner or later, after you have had your fill of the other senses or when your sensual fulfillment starts to lose its overpowering appeal, what remains is your desire to communicate and be listened to and really heard.

Do YOU Feel Listened To, Understood and Heard in YOUR Relationships?

Think again.  Which of YOUR senses takes precedence in YOUR relationships?

Leave a Comment Below.  I would love to hear what you think.
Get one of these special books TODAY!

Explore YOUR Sexual Awareness and Sensual Potential.


Its’ a Sensational World  




Let All Your Sense Speak … As You Heal



Contact Me  Re-Activate YOUR Sensual Aliveness


Dr. Erica





The following two tabs change content below.
Dr. Erica Goodstone is a Spiritual Relationship Healing Expert helping men and women heal their bodies and their relationships through love. Having presented her comprehensive relationship healing programs throughout the U.S. and Canada over several decades, she has helped literally 1000's of men and women to heal through learning how to love. Dr. Erica believes "Where There is Love There IS a Way". When you love, accept, listen and pay attention to your body, trust your own sense of what you truly desire, and strive to understand, appreciate and really know the other people in your life, anything and everything is possible.

Latest posts by Dr. Erica Goodstone (see all)

19 thoughts on “Listen to Me … Please

  1. I believe, as you have suggested, Dr. Erica, that communication is our main goal in life.

    That’s why hearing and “being heard” are so important.

    Touch and taste relate more to our physical needs. Speech is mostly about our unilateral ability to express ourselves, while sight relates to that which we take in and process visually.

    Hearing (and being heard), though, involves a two way communication… a dialogue, and is, I believe the most essential ingredient to attaining purpose in our lives.

  2. Having a 24 year old son with sensory defensiveness related to Fragile X Syndrome I have become in tune to his senses and adapt his environment accordingly.

    He has difficulty communicating but I have learned to listen carefully, ask questions and give him prompts to make him clearer and help him understand. He loves a quick cuddle ( a long one is too intense for him) and lots of these make him feel more secure. He has problems with strong smells and although he can’t make eye contact he is very strong visually and notices everything. He still has a high need for oral stimulation and I have to be so careful with his diet or he will eat and eat (a combination of taste and touch involved there)

    He has made me aware that so many people have sensory strengths and weaknesses and this has helped me understand people much better. Some variations are inbuilt and some due to earlier experiences. If you love someone, your needs can be met if you are alert to the different sorts of caring signals that they give you. In turn you can learn to meet their own needs.

    • Sue,

      You have explained the power of paying attention to sensual signals. Problem is, many people focus only on the negative messages – and often they misinterpret the meaning. For example, if someone does not hold hands for extended periods of time or does not easily make eye contact, we can assume they don’t care about us, but it may be because of their own sensory defensiveness.

      Dr. Erica

  3. I’d have to say I value all of my senses. I am so grateful for all of them. As far as being heard…. I believe I’m heard in a way that the listener interprets what I say. Rather than getting upset because someone didn’t understand what I was saying from my perspective, I look at it as they are understanding it from their perspective… and that’s ok. 🙂

    • Judy,

      What a wonderful way to look at relationships. You are allowing the other person to express who they are while in your presence, without expecting or demanding that they do something differently to make you feel more comfortable. The people in your life are lucky to know you.


      Dr. Erica

  4. All of our senses are amazing, and it’s hard to choose. Lately I’ve been noticing and appreciating how all five senses work together, so we have several ways of recognizing danger or of enjoying the beauty around us. Often it is the song of a bird or the fragrance of a flower that heralds its presence before I see it. So if I were to lose one of my senses I know the other would be sharpened. But if I had to chose one as my favourite sense, it would be my sight. I’m just very thankful I have all of them!

    • Willena,

      The key is to appreciate what we do have, every moment of our life, because it is all a gift, not a given. Change and loss happen instantly. And it is wonderful to realize how all of our senses work together.


      Dr. Erica

  5. Inspiring and well said Dr. Erica. I believe I have a true appreciation for all of my senses, but of all of them the one I value most is my sight. Part of that surely has to do with the fact that I’m a writer and artist, but I came very close to losing my sight a few years ago and it was only because I jumped at the chance for experimental surgery that I can see today. I suppose it’s like someone who has a brush with death, afterward you have a greater sense of appreciation for live as a whole. For me it’s taking in the beauty of life, colors, smiles, friendly eyes, flowers, nature in general.

    • Marty,

      So true. When we are close to losing something, we come to appreciate it so much more when we have it back. That happens with health, physical and emotional. When I injured my back many years ago, lying on the floor unable to move, I knew that I would always remember that moment in time – and I still can see it in my mind’s eye. So when some body part hurts, I am always grateful that I can walk and move and find a way to ease that current local discomfort. Each of our senses, when fully appreciated, makes living a wonderful experience moment by moment.


      Dr. Erica

  6. Hi Erica ,
    this is a beautiful Article,
    I value all my senses ,but for relationship
    I have the feeling ,there is another sense
    as well ,it is my soul sense ,I would call it.
    this is how I feel best .
    Thank you

  7. Dr. Erica,

    I love the feeling of response using our voices. It works and is a straight way to help heal. When we take our time to respond to others and use a calm voice with a certain rhythm to it. The response is the same from the other person.

    I once calmed our crowed in the V.F.W. by not yelling as so many others were doing. Yet, taking all my will to keep responding with a calm yet strong tone which would decrease and bring everyone back to normal. Always, smiling as I spoke to calm these Vets. It works and is felt even to those who normally would not respond to physical restraints.

    Thank you Dr. Erica for loving us and giving usable tips.

  8. Hey Dr. Erica,

    Nice post. You know I think of this quite often as a matter of fact and to be honest with you, I believe there’s a sixth sense that I’m focused on mainly. There’s a feeling behind everything I do it seems that takes precedence, whether I’m dancing, talking to someone, going out to eat, or playing the piano.

    In a relationship it seems like it’s the feeling behind each sense for me. Maybe I’m more sensitive than others. I couldn’t tell you. It seems like I’m always trying to feel the meaning behind a relationship more so than the senses itself. I don’t know if this makes sense.

    But anyways, this was a great post to think about! Thanks for sharing and I hope you have a fantastic rest of the week!

    • Sherman,

      If you are focusing on that 6th sense most of the time, you are rare – especially for a man. Most of us ignore and overlook that 6th sense and we don’t even pay much attention to our other senses until some big event happens. Falling in love, that wonderful sensation, leads to a heightening of all of our senses. So does a horrific traumatic event. The key to fully living is to tune into our senses all the time.


      Dr. Erica

  9. Hi Dr. Erica,
    I love the way you describe the different senses and the way we might be different from those closest to us.
    The questions you are asking certainly contribute to being more aware.

    Being ‘heard’ is probably one of the biggest need, and we can communicate that through the senses our partner is most attuned to.

    Thank you for sharing your expertise!
    Love and Light

    • Yorinda,

      That is so true. If we tune into the senses that our partner is most comfortable with, e.g., sight, then we can gradually lead him or her to be more aware of the other senses. We have to start somewhere to make that connection.


      Dr. Erica

  10. Hi Erica,
    What a great post. I’ve never really thought about which of the senses I value most. I am ashamed to say it but probably because I have all of them and do not have to do without but it is something interesting to think about.

    I don’t think I can begin to choose between any of them right now.

    Another excellent post about being content and happy with what we have. Many people do not have all of these and cannot make a choice.

    Have a great day, my friend. Monna

    • Monna,

      The point is to appreciate all the wonders of life as it is in this very moment. Change is inevitable and what we now take for granted may one day be gone, including the capacity to enjoy life through any or all of our senses.


      Dr. Erica

Comments are closed.